


Before The Stars Collide

by Piper_Emerald (orphan_account)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cannon Divergent, Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fem!Lance, Female Lance, Fluff, Genderbending, Pining, Set in season seven, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 04:04:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17573534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Piper_Emerald
Summary: “If I tell you why, this isn’t going to be how it used to be,” Keith gestured between the two of them.“I think ‘this’ stopped being how it used to be a long time ago,” Lance stated. “I want to know.”“I’ve seen people die in front of me,” Keith said. “I didn’t tell any of you, because I didn’t want to scare anyone, but I kept thinking of how likely it could be that I wouldn’t come back. I didn’t want to die not knowing what it was like to kiss you.”“You’re not going to die."





	Before The Stars Collide

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ShiranaiAtsune](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiranaiAtsune/gifts).



> This fic was written for ShiraniAtsune, and since AO3's guidelines won't let me say anymore than that (salty Piper is salty) please check out my Tumblr (@piperemerald) for more details!

Lance was trying very hard not to feel upset. She knew that it wasn’t fair for her to get emotional, not after everyone had hugged Keith and told him that if the thought what he was doing was right he needed to do it. She wasn’t mad at him for choosing his own path. It wouldn’t be right for her to be mad at him. So why did she feel so empty right now?

Keith was in his room. This might be the last time that she’d be able to find him there. He was packing the few belonging that he had so he could leave. He was leaving. Why was it so hard for her to wrap her head around this?

She knocked on the door. She didn’t even know what she was going to say to him. Sure, there were about a million things that she wanted to say to him, but she’s wasn’t that stupid. Keith wasn’t going to know about the stupid crush that she’d bent into rivalry anymore than he wasn’t going to know how numb the idea of not seeing him everyday was making her.

Keith looked surprised when he opened the door. Lance guessed that was fair. He probably thought after making is big announcement about his decision he’d be able to slip out without saying anything more to anyone, except for maybe Shiro. Lance hoped that their leader would have some sort of farewell advice to Keith. She wasn’t going to think about how the man who’d said a thousand times that he saw Keith as a brother should be telling him that the team still needed him.

“Hey,” she uttered, because she really didn’t know what else to say.

“Hi,” Keith said awkwardly.

It was always funny when Keith sounded awkward. In retrospect, now Lance knew that he wasn’t the best at social interactions, but back at the garrison she had always seen him as so much cooler than everyone else. She liked that she knew him better now. She liked that she knew that the uncomfortable smile didn’t mean that he didn’t want to talk to her, it just meant that he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to go about that.

“Can I come in?” She asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Keith said sheepishly.

He stepped out of the doorway. That gave Lance the second to take in the duffle bag that she guessed was the closest thing he had to a suitcase sitting on his bed. This was really happening. He was really going. And suddenly it was all just too much.

“Don’t go,” she turned to him now.

“Lance,” he looked like a deer caught in headlights and she couldn’t even appreciate how incredibly cute that was.

“I know you think you’re doing what’s best,” she kept going. Now that she’d started she couldn’t stop. “But the team still needs you.”

I still need you. I’m always going to need you.

She wished she could say those words. She wished she was brave enough. She wished that Keith could somehow read her mind and see the feelings she’d been hiding for what felt like a lifetime.

“No, you don’t,” Keith’s voice wasn’t cold. It wasn’t angry. Lance didn’t thin she could hear any bit of emotion in it and that was what bothered her.

“Yes, we—”

“Lance,” his hand was on her shoulder now. He was so close. She stopped herself from thinking about all of the times she’d wanted him to be that close. “Voltron only needs five paladins.”

“So?” She didn’t break the eye contact. “We’re supposed to be a team.”

“We’re supposed to be helping the universe,” Keith said back. “That’s what I need to do, okay? I need to put that first.”

“But—”

“This is what’s right, the rest of the team understands that,” he sounded frustrated right now. “At least this way you don’t have to worry about stepping down.”

“What?” Lance felt everything around her freeze. She watched as Keith’s eyes widened slightly. He hadn’t meant to say that. He hadn’t meant for her to know that.

“You’re not doing this for me,” she stated because she knew that couldn’t be what was behind Keith’s actions.

They might have gotten closer through everything they’d been put through, but that didn’t mean that Keith would make this big of a sacrifice just to give her piece of mind. People didn’t do that, not for her.

“I need to go.” Keith was stepping back. He was picking up his bag and he was about to walk out the door. He was about to walk out of Lance life for she didn’t know how long and she jut couldn’t take that.

“Wait!” she planted herself in front of the doorway.

If he wanted to leave so badly, he was going to have to move her. Not that she thought he couldn’t, she’d seen Keith fighting enough to know how strong he was, but she’d hadn’t exactly been sitting on the sidelines through all of that. She knew that they were close to equally matched and if she had to fight Keith to get him to listen to her then goddammit she would.

“Lance, I’m not playing this game,” he all but groaned. Now that was the Keith she knew. He was irritated, and tired, and looking at her with complete and utter annoyance. That was how things were supposed to be.

“Well, too bad,” she crossed her arms. “I am.”

“Do you have to act like a fucking child all the time?” He questioned.

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you,” she scoffed.

“What is that supposed to mean?” He narrowed his eyes.

“You’re literally trying to run away from this conversation and you’re calling me childish,” she exclaimed.

“I already told you—”

“Nothing that made sense,” she cut him off. “If you’re going to disappear on me you can at least give me a solid explanation.”

“This isn’t about you,” he seethed.

“You just said that it was!” She shouted.

And then they were less than an inch away. This wasn’t new ground. They had arguments that got this heated before. It shouldn’t be making Lance’s heart race or her skin tingle, but it was. Because this was Keith, and he was so close to her, and she didn’t know if they were ever going to get the chance to fight like this again, and dear god, she was going to miss it.

“Keith, I—”

And then his lips were on hers.

For a moment she just stood there in shock as he kissed her. She was so stunned she didn’t get the chance to wonder if his lips were always this soft, or enjoy how warm his hands that were now cupping her cheeks were. He pulled away almost instantly. His face was painted with regret.

“I’m sorry, I just—”

And she wasn’t going to let him finish that sentence.

The second kiss was deeper. Lance hoped that it held all of the emotions she didn’t know how to speak. She hoped that Keith could feel them. She hoped that this was going to mean something.

His mouth tasted like fire, and melancholy, and everything that Keith was. For someone who she doubted had all that much experience, he was a surprisingly amazing kisser. He pushed her against the wall, her legs snaked around his waist, she wished that breathing wasn’t necessary so she wouldn’t have to part their lips.

At some point they made it to the bed. At some point her jacket fell onto his floor and his pants were lost somewhere in the tangle of his sheets. At some point she let everything but him fade from existence.

It didn’t stay like that.

* * *

Lance sat up in the still stiff garrison bed. She couldn’t believe that her dreams had brought her back to that moment. It was like her subconscious wanted to torture her.

Then again, given the fact that when the morning came her and everyone she cared about were about to fight a battle she wasn’t sure they could win, maybe reliving that night was her mind taking it easy on her. One thing was for sure, she doubted she was going to be able to go back to sleep anytime soon. With a sigh, she pulled herself out of the bed. Just lying there and letting her thoughts wander put a pit in her stomach. She’d rather walk around for long enough to clear her head.

That wasn’t the first time she’d relived the night that her and Keith spent together. The dream came back to her a lot. It was worse back when Keith was gone, and Shiro wasn’t Shiro, and Lance felt like she was standing in the middle of everything falling apart with no way to stop it. Then she hadn’t been strong enough not to savor that one night where she’d let herself believe that she could have what she wanted.

Of course Keith had still left the next day. Of course they never spoke of what happened. Of course Keith didn’t feel the same way.

Lance had accepted that a long time ago. She also accepted that they were in the middle of a war and it wasn’t either of their faults that they’d wanted to feel something. She still wanted to feel something, she just wasn’t about to tell Keith that.

Maybe she should still feel like things were falling apart. Never had their odds ever looked more hopeless, and it shouldn’t matter that they had the team back together, that was still terrifying. They were home, but the Earth that they’d returned to was so different from the one that they left.

It was weird, but maybe it should be weirder. Nothing was the same, but that didn’t scare her because she was different too. That wasn’t to say she wasn’t scared. She was fucking terrified. They all were, they just showed it in different ways.

Her feet lead her to the kitchen. She didn’t notice the light under the door until she was already opening it. She wasn’t sure if that would have stopped her, or made her want to see who else was to nervous to sleep tonight.

She certainly didn’t expect to see Keith in his t-shirt and sweatpants standing in front of a boiling pot of water.

“Hey,” he looked surprised too. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“I did a bit,” Lance shrugged. She let herself sit down at the counter. “What are you doing?”

“Making tea,” he gave her that look that she took to mean that his action had clearly been obvious. “You want some?”

Lance nodded, because this beat going back to bed.

For a little bit, they didn’t talk. Lance watched Keith pour the hot water into two separate mugs. She watched him steep the tea bags until the liquid inside was a soft coppery color. He handed one of the mugs to her, it was warm—a lot warmer than she felt right now.

She didn’t know how long they both just sat there, sipping at the tea and not saying anything. Eventually, Keith couldn’t take it anymore. It was funny that he was always the one to snap first. Lance knew that most people would judge it to be the other way around. She knew that most people saw Keith as the sharper, more experienced of their rivalry. She’d be lying if she didn’t agree with that. Still, he never quite figured out how to be patient.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

That was a loaded question if she ever heard one, and not something that she wanted to answer.

“Are you?” She asked back. “You’re the one making tea alone.”

“It helps me calm down,” Keith crossed his arms. “And you came in here too, it’s not like—”

A noise from down the hall cut him off. Lance quickly glanced at the doorway than back to Keith. Why did she feel like they were still in school and staying up past their allowed bed times?

“We should probably go back to our rooms,” Keith stated.

“Yeah,” Lance still didn’t like that idea. “Yours is closer, I’ll walk with you.”

For some reason he didn’t argue with that, he just took her now empty mug and placed it in the sink. Lance debated telling him that he needed to wash it, but for some reason felt like the teasing would fall flat tonight. That was a bummer. Teasing Keith was probably her favorite thing to do.

They walked in silence. Lance focused on the way that their steps matched. They were at the same height right now. It didn’t used to be like that. Until very recently she’d always had two inches on him. It was odd knowing that what had been months for her had been years for him. It was even odder that aside from looking taller and stronger, he was exactly the same Keith she’d said goodbye too.

“Do you want to come in for a bit?” Keith asked when they reached the door.

Lance felt relief rush through her. At least she wasn’t the only one who didn’t want to be alone right now. At least she could delay watching the still hours before the inevitable tick by in her bed.

“Someones gotta scare the monsters out of your closet,” she aimed a wink at him.

He just rolled his eyes.

She sat on his bed. He took his shirt off once the door was closed. She had to remind herself that this wasn’t weird, because she’d seen him in only his undershirt before. She’d seen that before they’d kissed, and he’d pushed her up against the wall, and she’d laughed because that made her even taller than him.

“You gonna tell me what’s bothering you now?” Keith asked her.

“Oh, nothing, just the fact that the fate of literally everything I know and love is currently hanging in the balance,” she replied sarcastically.

“Lance—”

“What do you think’s gonna happen?” She asked before she could stop herself.

“What do you mean?” He sat down on the bed, facing her.

He was looking at her like he was trying to read her, like he thought that maybe if he was close enough he could. She hoped that he could. She hoped that while she’d been noticing every little detail about him as time wore on, he’d been doing the same for her. She hoped that two years away hadn’t made him forget all of the little things that he’d learned.

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “I’m just nervous, okay? I think we all are.”

“How’s your family handling all of this?” He asked.

Another loaded question. Lance wouldn’t tell Keith how she knew they didn’t see her as the same person who had left. She wouldn’t tell him the mix of pride and hurt every time she spoke to Veronica—pride for the warrior she had become, and hurt for knowing that Lance hadn’t been their to protect her from having to.

“I think they’re handling things a lot better than I did initially,” she said honestly.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Keith was still staring. He was still taking in every little detail of her and she wasn’t sure that she could endure this much scrutiny from him right now.

“You ask a lot of questions,” she informed him. “You sure you’re really Keith and not his taller, buffer, secret brother here to find out everything about the rest of us?”

“Seriously,” Keith didn’t even roll his eyes at the joke. “Lance, what did that mean?”

“Nothing,” she let her eyes trace the floor.

It was in moments like this that she missed the castle of lions. She missed being able to look around and know that she was somewhere familiar, and safe, and a bit closer to home. That was ironic, considering right now they were on the planet that was supposed to be their home.

“It’s not a big deal, okay?” She finally said, because she knew that if Keith wanted an answer he wasn’t going to let her move on until he got one. “I’ve always known that I’m the weak link of the team, now I’m just around constant reminders that I was only ever part of Voltron because of coincidence.”

“That’s not true,” Keith uttered.

“Oh really?” She turned to look at him now. “That night when all of this started it was because Pidge was out on the roof. I don’t think we would have actually been able to get Shiro out of that base if we hadn’t run into you. Hunk is the glue to this team, and Allura and Shrio have known what they’re doing from the beginning. I’m the one who just here.”

“You don’t actually mean that,” Keith pressed.

“So what if I do?” Lance shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I’m here now, and I’m going to do everything I can.”

“Lance—”

And then Keith’s hand was on her shoulder.

“Don’t talk about yourself like that,” his voice was harder than she expected it to be, especially when his eyes looked so soft. Lance wasn’t sure she’d ever seen them hold that much emotion before. They definitely hadn’t while being directed at her.

“It’s not a big deal,” she tried to shake off his hand, but he tightened his grip. It wasn’t rough, just firm. It was like he was trying to anchor her to something.

“Lance,” he leaned closer to her now. “The blue lion chose you. So did Red. It’s not because you were just there, it’s because you’re special.”

“Right,” she rolled her eyes.

“I’m serious,” he squeezed her shoulder. “I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.”

“You don’t have to do this,” she sighed. “I don’t need a pep talk, thanks. It’s nice that you’re trying to be that kind of leader. I mean, I do appreciate it. But you don’t have to put up that front for me.”

“It’s not a front,” he sounded almost offended. “And this isn’t a pep talk, it’s the truth.”

“You didn’t even remember who I was back when we went to school together,” Lance reminded him. “I’m not like you, Keith. I’m not a hero, I’m just here.”

“I lied about that,” Keith blurted.

“You what?” Lance blinked at him. “Why?”

“I just,” Keith sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t want to seem weird.”

“How would remembering me make you seem weird?” She questioned. “I remembered you.”

“It’s different,” he stated.

“It’s really not,” she crossed her arms.

“I always acted like I wasn’t paying attention to anyone!” Keith all but exclaimed. “I wasn’t. I can remember maybe five names of the people we were in classes with.”

“And?” She raised an eyebrow.

“And I remember everything about you,” he let out a long breath.

Lance watched his lips curve into a smile.

“I remember how you used to tie your hair up when you were trying to focus, but you’d always take in down when you were trying to flirt with someone,” Keith shook his head. “I remember how you’d laugh at the stupidest stuff even if making noised pissed off whoever was teaching. I remember how you’d talk to me. No one else seemed to care if I disappeared, but you noticed me.”

“Keith,” Lance felt frozen. She felt like the entire universe was spinning around her.

“You’re just as important and needed as anyone else in this team,” Keith took her hand in his now. “You care about the people we save, you care about our team, you make me feel like for once someone who doesn’t need to cares about me. You’re brave, and self sacrificing, and a brilliant sharpshooter. Lance, you’re amazing and you’re not allowed to forget that.”

Lance felt tears welling up in her eyes. She did her best to keep them in. Crying would make her look like a complete idiot, but she felt like her emotions were trying to burst out of her chest. She just never thought that anyone had ever thought anything like that about her. Least of all Keith.

She leaned closer. Their lips pressed together. It was a soft kiss. It lasted less than a second, and it was only when Keith was pulling away that Lance realized what she’d just let herself do.

“I can’t,” Keith stammered out.

“Right,” she felt a pit form in her stomach. “I get it. God, I’m such an idiot.”

“No, you’re not,” Keith said quickly. “I’m just really bad at this.”

“It’s fine,” she wanted the floor to swallow her. Before she could stop herself, the question that had burned in the back of her mind for months fell form her lips: “Was last time a mistake?”

“What?” Keith stared at her.

“It’s fine if it was,” she added. “I get if it was. It’s just—I want to know why.”

“Because I wanted to,” Keith said the words so simply. “I thought you did too.”

“I did,” she assured him. She still did now. She always would.

“If I tell you why, this isn’t going to be how it used to be,” Keith gestured between the two of them.

“I think ‘this’ stopped being how it used to be a long time ago,” Lance stated. “I want to know.”

“I’ve seen Blade members die in front of me,” Keith stated. “I didn’t tell any of you, because I didn’t want to scare anyone, but I kept thinking of how likely it could be that I wouldn’t come back. I didn’t want to die not knowing what it was like to kiss you.”

“You’re not going to die,” she believe this. She had believe this for a long time. She didn’t think that any force in the universe was strong enough to end Keith’s life.

“I would,” Keith stated. “If it meant protecting you. Or any of the others.”

“I wouldn’t want you to,” she told him.

“I do,” he said. “I don’t think I could handle living in a world without a Lance McClain.”

She watched a haze settled in his eyes. Slowly and deliberately, he leaned closer to her. It was as if his protest from before had been forgotten. It was as if he’d suddenly forgotten everything—everything but the two of them, everything but gently guiding his lips to hers.

He didn’t taste sad this time. He was scared, they both were, but he didn’t feel like he was hiding part of his soul away from her. He wasn’t hiding at all. She knew how hard dropping the mask of his moody and distant exterior must had been for him. She hoped she was worth it. She hoped that this moment was worth everything they’d both gone through.

“What’s wrong?” He broke the kiss to ask her.

“Why me?” She asked before she could stop herself. “I’m nothing special.”

“That’s not true,” he push her hair out of her face. “Lance, you’re so brave, and smart, and kind. Don’t you dare think you’re anything less.”

“I love you.” The words came out so easily. It sounded like she hadn’t been carrying and covering them for years. It sounded like it wasn’t a secret that she’d somehow branded into her heart and promised never to breath out loud.

Lance watched as shock melted into something else on Keith’s face. Then he was kissing her again. They were falling back onto his bed and his hips were straddling hers. She looked up at him and saw a gleam in his eyes that she wasn’t sure she’d ever witnessed before.

“I love you too,” he was smiling at her. “I love you so much.”

He kissed her again.

“So that was why, then?” She couldn’t help asking. “It wasn’t because you just needed to feel something, or because I was there and—”

“It was because I love you,” Keith silenced her. “I’ve loved you for so long, Lance.”

“That was why for me too,” she closed the gap between them.

This kiss was shorter than the others. His lips traveled down her neck. His hands pushed back her jacket, then began working on the buttons of her sleep shirt. Lance just watched him. She wanted to save this image of him above her forever. This was what heaven felt like.

“Is this okay?” He paused. She guessed that just staring wasn’t exactly the reaction he was going for. “I know we already did this, but I know that doesn’t mean that you want to now. And I know you said that you love me but—”

“Yes,” she cut him off, a giggle escaped her lips. “Yes, this is okay. Now hurry up, mullet.”

“I can’t believe you just called me mullet in bed,” Keith gaped at her.

Her lips curled into a smirk as she pulled her head up to kiss him. She let her teeth play with his lower lip, biting down slightly before pulling back and dropping back down on the bed. She winked and him and pulled the most ridiculously flirtatious face she could.

“I can call you other things too,” she all but purred.

Immediately Keith’s eyes widened before softening into a haze that made a shiver run down her spine. This wasn’t like the first time, where they didn’t have time for words or feeling or to savor the fact that they were here together. This time Lance got to enjoy the way Keith was looking at her. She got to tell herself that this look was just for her and her alone.

He went back to unbuttoning her shirt, and then pulling it off of her. She gripped his undershirt before all up ripping it off of him and tossing it onto the floor. That earned a chuckled from him. Her fingers traced that curve of his incredibly muscular body, lingering on one of the many scars that she hadn’t stopped to realize existed before.

Keith winced.

“Hey,” she murmured softly. “It doesn’t hurt does it?"

“No,” he shook his head. “I just…”

He didn’t have to finish that. She understood. Gingerly, she lifted herself up again, pressing her lips to the scar that her hands had been on a moment ago. She kissed the next one. Her lips traveled over his arm, down his chest, stopping at each jagged cut.

“You’re beautiful,” she murmured.

“Lance,” he breathed out.

“And, for the record,” she added with a smirk. “I think your battle scars are hot.”

“You’re so weird,” he was smiling again.

Her hands found his hips. She quickly undid his belt buckle and pushed them down. He pulled her sweatpants off of her. Their mouths met again. She let him take charge. She let him explore every corner of her mouth. She let his hands wander lower. She let his fingers ghost under her panties before removing them all together.

His hands roamed between her thighs, gently spreading them apart. His lips moved downwards from her mouth, kissing and sucking their way down her neck, then her chest and stomach before they reached their desired destination. Slowly, he moved his lips around her vulva before his tongue parted them and it’s warm, wet surface met her clitoris.

Lance let out a moan of pleasure. Keith’s grip on her hips tightened as he began to move his mouth and tongue. Lance closed her eyes. She felt her whole body going weak from pure ecstasy.

“Keith,” she breathed out before another moan captured her mouth.

She let him guide her closer and closer to complete surrender. Every touch seemed to push her closer to the edge before finally she threw her head back as pure, hot pleasure wracked her body. She didn’t care how loud her voice was as she came, she didn’t care about anything but Keith and what he was making her feel.

“You’re good at that,” she murmured when she had caught her breath again.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he grinned at her.

“You’re turn,” she said in as sultry a voice as she could. She reached up to push his boxers down.

She wasn’t surprised to see he was already hard in anticipation. Her hands stroked his member before pulling his hips over hers. She watched him position himself over.

“Lance,” he uttered. “I want you so much.”

“Then come and take me,” she purred out.

It hurt at first, but she was alright with that. Soon the pain gave way to even more pleasure. She felt Keith push deeper into her entrance. Slowly, he began to thrust his way in and out. She listened to the music of his staggered breaths and deep groans.

She felt the moment that he reached his peek, filling her with a deep warmth and gracing her ears with a load cry of pure bliss.

He collapsed on top of her. Clumsily kissing her mouth again. He tasted like the joy they’d just brought each other. His breath ghosted across her neck. His limbs tangled with hers. She wanted to stay like this forever.

“Lance,” Keith’s eyes suddenly widened. “I didn’t—we didn’t—”

“I’m on birth control if that’s what you’re freaking out about,” she laughed.

“Oh,” he relaxed slightly.

“I don’t think be getting pregnant in middle of an intergalactic war would exactly help us win,” she added.

“Maybe when it’s all over,” he said. She watched his eyes widen again. He hadn’t meant to say that.

“You wanna settle down someday?” She couldn’t help asking in surprise. “With me?”

“Yeah,” he said sheepishly. “Only if you want to, I mean. And of course not anytime soon, but, yeah. God, that’s way too much to say right now, isn’t it?”

“It’s a bit much,” she laughed again. “But, yeah. Someday we’ll have a stupidly domestic life.”

He smiled before kissing her again. She let herself pour everything into that kiss. She let her eyes close and leaned back into his bed. Neither of them knew what tomorrow was going to bring, but tonight they had each other and that was what mattered.


End file.
